Stay Married Forever with Dr Joey

Do you get your hair done by someone whose hair looks mousy or thin and limp?

Have you ever gone to a really nice restaurant for a fine meal and discovered that it was prepared by an anorexic cook?

Probably not!

Then why do so many couples get marriage coaching from someone who’s in their second or third or fourth marriage?

Like they know how to Stay Married Forever?

That’s why I want you to get to know me better. One of the characteristics of a great Coach is he or she lives personally the plays called professionally for others.

I call it integrity.

Call it what you will, but it matters in life who you are and what you do.

I mean you’re paying your money to grow your marriage, getting to the C.O.R.E. of your relationship so you can Stay Married Forever, right? You’ve been through enough relationships that failed. You want to avoid divorce court.

I’m not a bald barber or an anorexic cook.

This is the third decade in which I’m living out of the C.O.R.E. of my own marriage.

That’s what I want for you, too.

It’s my mission in life.

And the great thing for you is that you can learn from my successes and mistakes and from the successes and mistakes of the hundreds of couples that I’ve coached for nearly three decades. You can repeat their successes and avoid their mistakes and Stay Married Forever!

LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME

I won’t take you back too far, but I sure was a cute kid, wasn’t I? At least that’s what my Mom said…and my wife agrees!

I do remember my first “real” girlfriend in 3rd grade. Her name was Mary. She was the prettiest girl in the world. And I gave her a ring I got from a Cracker Jacks box!

I suffered through junior high school (now middle school) just like everyone else, trying to figure out how to relate with that bewildering “opposite sex.” Mostly I wrote notes and managed to sneak a kiss in the hallway before class on occasions.

And then I was all grown up and in high school. Back in the day, I was cool…or, at least it seemed that way. I went to the prom my junior year. That was painful. Went on a church choir trip the next year instead.

What did I learn? Relationships require work. And sometimes more than you think.

Now here’s my wife and me on our wedding day. That was one of the four happiest days of my life, and it’s right up there at the top of that short list. I shaved the beard when it turned gray.

We look happy, don’t we?

You did, too, I’ll bet…or you will.

THE FIRST FEW YEARS OF MARRIAGE ARE INTERESTING

In those first few years of marriage—and that’s when I started coaching other couples to Stay Married Forever and learning from them—I discovered that every couple, as happy as they look on their wedding day—disagree. Or argue. Or even fight.

Conflict is a part of an intimate relationship. If you’re close enough to hug, you’re close enough to hit.

If there’s no disagreeing going on, one of you is unnecessary. Think about it.

That’s when I started working on conflict management. That’s the C in the C.O.R.E. of your relationship. Learning to “fight fair” is a key to staying married forever. My Conflict Management Indicator (CMI) helps you find your style for fighting fair.

And I found out that opposites attract. That’s the O in the C.O.R.E. of your marriage. My wife just didn’t do things the way I do them and that friction sometimes produced light, and other times heat.

I wanted more light on who she and I were. That’s when I became certified as a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® administrator. So I could understand our personality behaviors and help all these hundreds of couples appreciate each others’ strengths more. I’ve shed a lot of marital light wattage for more couples than I can ever remember with this single activity, coaching them to avoid divorce court forever.

As the years went on in our marriage, I realized that the difference between relationship mountains and mole hills is a matter of clarification. There are Relevant Issues—the R in the C.O.R.E. of your marriage—that can grow enormously out of proportion. But most of them can be anticipated and dealt with and you can glide right over them.

I’ve got a check list of these that I’ve written over the years, not just from my own marriage but hundreds of other couples, too. Things like child-rearing, who pays the bills, and caring for aging parents are on there. There are seasons to your marriage and the check list reflects that. I coach you to clarify these Relevant Issues and we deal with them so you can stay married forever.

One of the biggest things I’ve discovered in these nearly three decades of marriage and marriage coaching is knowing how to Express Yourself—the E in the C.O.R.E. of your marriage. 9.9 out of 10 couples find it challenging to communicate. My wife and I were and are no different. I’ve figured out a bunch of reasons why such as you grew up in completely different homes and also when you said, “I do,” you didn’t get an instruction manual telling you how.

Even the IRS gives you detailed instructions!

But did you get a booklet about how to fill out Form Marriage 101?

I didn’t either.

And frankly, that’s why I am so committed to Staying Married Forever to my wife and learning everything I can about how to avoid divorce court.

I’m also committed to sharing what I’m learning from nearly 25 years of my own marriage and coaching other couples with you.

I’M ON A MISSION TO HELP YOU BEAT THE ODDS

They’re against you, you know.

About 50% of all first marriages end in divorce court.

About 63% of all second marriage couples find themselves there, too.

And about 72% of third and more marriages wind up saying “I did, but I don’t now.”

Why?

Because couples keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

I want you to do better.

I want you to Stay Married Forever and avoid divorce court.

It’s part of my mission in life.

Thanks for letting me share with you who I am.

I look forward to coaching you to discover the C.O.R.E. of your marriage so you can stay married forever, too!

Dr Joey